Have you ever heard the saying ‘everything looks easier from the outside looking in?’ If you are new or transitioning to natural, I’m sure you can fully appreciate the realness of this statement.
I’m sure that like me, many of you started your natural hair journey spending a considerable amount of time researching, following and admiring several persons who were also on the same journey that you were about to embark on. After all, youtube is the naturalistas best friend!
I am almost certain (because I can identify) you spend countless hours daydreaming of how your hair would look when you finally got to that stage. Am I right or am I wrong? Then when you finally got to that stage it was a catastrophe. Your hair felt nothing like those girls’ hair looked and your styles didn’t have the same pizazz. Your wash and go was literally a wash and no go. You know what…that’s quite ok…you know why? It all gets better with time and effort.
Nothing good ever comes easy, it gets better with time and effort. Don’t give up.
Girl, I’m sure most of those girls you see crushing it on youtube and in the pictures had their fair share of failures. The key however is to keep going.
Let’s explore some of the major setbacks faced by us natural girls and some tried and proven solutions for better results.
Even our most treasured characters, the princesses we wanted to be like and the popular dolls we desired to play with were not representative of my kinky curls.
Closer to home, women, men, boys, and girls had views on what a beautiful head of hair looked like and that hair strand better be “mixed”. The softer or straight or mixed with other races Ie not pure “African” or “Afro” type hair, the prettier the hair, the prettier the person was deemed to be. I know you can relate.
Do you remember hair also being associated with certain rites of passage? Many young girls of African descent learnt that from plaits, cornrows or canerows as we called them in Trinidad and Tobago, you transitioned to heat pressing or blow drying. Then at an appropriate age we would be given the ‘gift’ of a relaxed head of hair. On a lesser scale, some of us would have had a jerry or S curl but a relaxer was the real deal.
Your first relaxer! The coming-of-age present!
For some it came earlier or a few years later, but it was almost like a teenage rite of passage in order to be a beautiful girl. This event would normally come around the age of 13….right after Common Entrance (now called SEA) for a grand entrance into secondary school, or just in time for graduation from Secondary school.. Boy was there excitement around receiving your first relaxer! Not much compared.
We would envision the length and flow, the styles we would attempt, the reaction of our friends and how beautiful we would finally be.
Why?
This was the general perception of beauty growing up in the 80’s and 90’s. Our natural hair was neither liked nor appreciated. We have come a long way! Agreed? We are now in an era of #blackgirlmagic. An era where we have come to love our African/ black identity and everything associated with it…including our natural, non-chemically treated, beautiful and healthy hair.
I’m sure you can agree with me when I say that it was not until later in life did I fully grow to love and appreciate the hair that grows naturally out of my scalp. I then learned about the proper treatment and care for my natural hair and when I learned to properly care for my hair, I fell in love all over again.
With this new revolution information, techniques, treatment options and our hair is stronger and healthier and for the little girl in me…longer than ever before.
What’s the affair with hair? What has brought about this new and improved mindset and unconditional love and appreciation for what is ours?
What are some of the negative connotations you have heard growing up that led you to develop certain perspectives about your hair and yourself?
