DON’T SWEAT THE SETBACKS
Have you ever heard the saying ‘everything looks easier from the outside looking in?’ If you are new or transitioning to natural, I’m sure you can fully appreciate the realness of this statement.
I’m sure that like me, many of you started your natural hair journey spending a considerable amount of time researching, following and admiring several persons who were also on the same journey that you were about to embark on. After all, youtube is the naturalistas best friend!
I am almost certain (because I can identify) you spend countless hours daydreaming of how your hair would look when you finally got to that stage. Am I right or am I wrong? Then when you finally got to that stage it was a catastrophe. Your hair felt nothing like those girls’ hair looked and your styles didn’t have the same pizazz. Your wash and go was literally a wash and no go. You know what…that’s quite ok…you know why? It all gets better with time and effort.
Nothing good ever comes easy, it gets better with time and effort. Don’t give up.
Girl, I’m sure most of those girls you see crushing it on youtube and in the pictures had their fair share of failures. The key however is to keep going.
Let’s explore some of the major setbacks faced by us natural girls and some tried and proven solutions for better results.
While some natural queens love and enjoy rocking shorter styles (which they wear so well), others crave long and lustrous tresses.
Whether your goal is shoulder length, mid back it hip length…to experience length, you must play the waiting game. There is no other logical way, well other than the use of hair extensions of some form. Girl, if that is your heart’s desire and need it now, we are not here to judge…wear your long hair and do so proudly. For those who prefer to wait…you will not be waiting in vain.
It’s quite understandable that you will want to experience great length sooner than later in your journey, I mean it’s ingrained into our psyche. We all wanted to be princesses at some point in our loves (lol) It is what we were raised on. Rapunzel, Cinderella, Ariel, Pocahontas, we all had our favorite? Who was yours?
The embodiment of beauty!!!
Keep in mind however, that unless you have been growing your natural hair for years, you will have to endure the TWA stage and there is nothing wrong with that.
Many of your favorite naturalist influencers didn’t wake up yesterday with the hair length that they are proudly showcasing today.
Solution –
Protective Styling for growth
Your hair is growing. However, because of the texture and curl of your hair we may not see the growth as it happens. I can tell you when you remove a protective style from your hair you see it.
Protective styling refers to the process of setting your hair in a particular style, mainly braids, cornrows, weaves or even twists, which remains for a few weeks before it is removed. This type of style allows the hair to rest and be free from manipulation.
After removing a protective style hair growth is much more visible. It’s almost like magic. Where did this length come from… but we are not complaining!
You are basically giving your hair a much needed rest to rejuvenate as well as to prevent hair loss brought about manipulation and styling regularly. Detangling, separating and combing hair may make hair weak and fall off at the ends or may lead to split dry ends which eventually result in breakage.
Remember to always moisturize your hair whilst wearing in a protective style.
Healthy hair over long hair
Instead of dwelling on length, place the emphasis on achieving healthy hair. Healthy hair at any length is beautiful hair.
Embrace your hair at every stage
Each stage is beautiful and has its own flare and benefits. Guess what…you will miss each one as you begin to progress to your desired length. So, enjoy the moments while you are in them.
Be consistent with your routine
Get a routine and stick to it! Consistency is key. To achieve great results in any area of your life you must maintain and uphold a certain standard. It’s no different with your hair.
The ABC’s and 123’s of hair.
Texture envy is real! You see someone rocking a particular hairstyle…it looks lovely, so you decide to try it yourself and it turns out to be an absolute flop. An absolute disaster. As we say in T&T, ‘Gopaul luck isn’t Seepaul luck’ meaning not because it worked for someone else means it will work for you.
Here are some reasons why this may occur –
Hair type
No two people have the same type of hair so obviously no one style will ever have the same effect.
The reality is that different styles present varying effects and appearances according to the type and texture of the hair. What may work for type 4a* hair may not work for type 4c* and vice versa.
* Want to know more about hair types? Let me know and I will include some information on some interesting classifications.
Execution
Sometimes the issue may simply be your execution and know how. It takes time to learn about your natural hair, especially if you have been processing continually over an extended period.
Lack of moisture/ dryness
The overall appearance and health of your hair contributes more than you know to the success of your styles! Lack of moisture, dry brittle hair, split or stringy ends are a no no and mess with the outcome of your styles much more than you can imagine.
Solution –
Watch tutorials and do research.
It’s all a part of the process. The key to achieving better execution is by practice. It’s really not that hard. There are so many avenues for us to research and learn from others who have been through the struggle as well and are now killing this natural hair thing. Youtube is your best friend. Speak to others who may have been there and seek advice and discussion with other naturalistas who are willing to share their successes through trial and error.
Treat your hair (deep condition, loc method etc.)
I cannot stress this enough. Gone are the days of us not treating our natural hair because we feel natural hair does not need the same type of care and attention that is given to chemically treated hair.
As much as you may not have applied chemicals to your tresses, keep in mind that it is still being exposed to various elements in the atmosphere and even from some of the products you may apply.
For hair at any stage of growth or any hair type to experience an optimal level your hair must first be treated properly. Deep conditioning of your hair is an absolute must for healthy, beautiful and bouncy hair. Dry hair doesn’t bounce, it just doesn’t.
Utilizing the LOC (liquid, oil, cream) or LCO (liquid, cream, oil) methods, whichever you choose keeps hair moisturized and manageable. Be mindful of the ingredients in hair (and skin) products. We want to stay away from formulas that include harsh sulphates, parabens and chemicals such as formaldehyde.
Keep in mind that what works for someone else may not work for you, the key is to experiment with different options to determine what works and what doesn’t.
Track your progress and monitor results
Lastly, be sure to keep track of your progress. Take all the notes you like of not only products that don’t work for you but also take note and keep track of ingredients which may have favorable or less than favourable outcomes.
If you need a practical guide to help you keep track of your progress and also contains useful tips to guide you along your journey, be sure to check out the My Great Hair Chronicles journal. See link here.
Maybe the greatest setback of the entire natural journey is not the physical setbacks but the mental and emotional ones.
Not having the support and acceptance of those around you can make your journey much more difficult than it should be.
Have you had to face the negative connotations brought about by societal biases? Have you ever had someone tell you your hair looks rumfled or uncombed? Your hair looks unprofessional or that your natural hair makes you look poor? Well…you are not alone. The stories are endless amongst the natural hair community and quite disturbing at that.
It’s easy to feel defeated and deflated when such negativity is presented to you. You begin to lose your sense of self-worth and begin to question if the decision you made is the right one.
Solution – Self love, self acceptance, block out negativity
Their perception is not your problem. Block out all negativity. You are awesome! You are versatile! You are beautiful!
It’s time to break the negative perceptions associated with natural hair and it starts with full and complete acceptance and love. There is nothing wrong with the hair growing out of your scalp. No it doesn’t need to be disciplined, no it doesn’t need to be tamed.
Getting the support from likeminded individuals who may be on your journey or from those who have been in your shoes and have weathered the storm is necessary. It’s a great feeling knowing you have allies by your side to hold your hand and keep you going. Trust me, this sisterhood of chicks are not to be messed with. You are safe here.
Don’t give up now!
You have come too far to turn back now. Push through and experience the beauty of attaining your goal. You won’t regret it.
Setbacks are a normal part of any journey. Attaining your goal depends on your ability to push forward regardless of the circumstances, to experience your full reward.
Don’t be afraid to experiment and try new things. There are so many options available…the options are as diverse as our hair. Track and monitor your progress, celebrate your wins…even the small ones which may seem unnoteworthy, and most importantly…. Enjoy the process. Keep going, you are doing great.
Be sure to join our community of thriving naturalistas just like you and check out our exceptional My Great Hair Chronicles journal, specifically designed for you.
